what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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