I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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