How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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