frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
