Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
