i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
