Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
