Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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