Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
