This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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