i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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