I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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