what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You have to summon your inner elephant
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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