Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
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