I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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