do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
