glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
