Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize