Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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