New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Semen is not good for contacts.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
