her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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