sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
