Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
