I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
