My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
