Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize