My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
