They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
