i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
