Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
