Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
