i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
