; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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