...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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