That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
