help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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