either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
