We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
