The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
