Even the bartender felt bad for me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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