It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize