This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just wanna soil my oats bro
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
