How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
