Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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