How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
