I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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