remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
