finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
