Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
