found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
