Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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