So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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