I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
