I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i would punch a child for taco bell
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
