"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
