He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
