so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
